August 26, 2013

The Sweet Evolution of an Embattled Soul

I love myself! Because I love myself, I can say I love you! You, being everyone else. Just as you are. Years ago (maybe even up to a few months ago), I couldn't have said that. I was broken. I suffered many years with depression. I was angry. I was miserable. I was unhappy. I was dead. And it was very visible. Even still, there were people who smiled, gave a hug, or said a kind word. Somewhere deep inside, it touched my spirit. I'm not telling you this to receive sympathy. As my nephew pointed out, sympathy has the word path in it. It was the path I had to take to come to know my true self.

When I turned 40, I was excited. I felt like I had reached an endpoint. Several stages of my life had come to fruition. I felt peace about certain things or different areas of my life. Though I thought I had "arrived," it was only the beginning of a transformation into new beginnings. I was able to look back over my life and see things I had been through or had overcome, realizing I had to go through those things to bring me full circle. In other words, I had grown. But my growth was all about me.

That's not a bad thing. Growth was good and necessary. However, growth is only a means to an end. Or should I say an end to a beginning? When something grows, it will eventually reach a maturity point. Evolution is the progressive change over successive generations; undergoing change over time into a more complex or better form. It's the process that never ends, a constant state of change that has no end of life.

I realize that I'm no longer just growing, I'm evolving. Yes, certain areas of my life will reach their maturity point but my spirit will continually develop in this earthly shell. Something is shifting in the atmosphere. I've learned it's not for me to dwell on my past or to become too focused on the future that I can't enjoy today. I am learning to experience life in the moment. I am seeing things differently, enjoying a different perspective. More importantly, I am love. I was made to love. I was created in God's image. Everything He is, I am.  I have to say I am so excited and loving this transformation, it's hard to express in words. But I hope you get the point. I hope that by through this message, I can touch someone else's spirit.

Lately, God has taken me to new heights as I understand what it means to know God is Love. Throughout this process I can feel my spirit changing. I'm enthusiastic about life! I care about other people.. I'm learning to be less critical and judgmental, about myself and others. I want to see people succeed - not in terms of money - but having a joyful life. I want to be a part of changing people's hearts and raising up our younger generations to have a servant's heart, to have compassion for others. When we're gone, our souls will live on. After all, our souls are immortal. In what ways are we touching others? In what ways are we being and showing love? What legacies will we leave to the world?

I've come to learn that my life is not about me. It's about the connections I make with other souls. In a sense, we're just a bunch of souls - spirit beings having a human experience on this earth. When I leave this life, I want my scent to linger like the smell of sweet perfume that rubs off on each person who comes into contact with it and so on. My new motto....each one, touch one.